The crazy cardinal knelt down to pray
“Copulate to populate, that’s what I say.
The poor one day will inherit the earth
So we shouldn’t try to control their birth.
It’s the pills and the condoms that cause our distress”
Then, caressing the boy who was adjusting his dress,
He added “And thanks to the Lord that I’m not gay”.

The ratbag rabbi picked up his fork
Selecting some food as he started to talk
“Bomb the Arabs! Grab their land!
Build your homes on their holy ground!
God gave us this land and we know what for –
To make us rich and keep them poor.
And if you want to be saved, don’t eat the pork.”

The mad mullah touched his head to the ground
And said “Praise be to God” when he heard the sound
Of the crash and the screams from the suicide bomb.
“Blow the infidels back where they’re from
Stone any woman who strays from her man;
And if you catch a thief, then chop off his hand
And so let the mercy of Allah abound.”

The loony lama sat under a tree
Lamenting how terrible this world could be
“All this death, disease, old age and such
I really do think that it’s much too much
But I’ve seen the light
I know that I’m right
It’ll all go away if I just focus on me.”